Not everything that we choose to do is because we want to do it, need to do it or are expected to do it.
Hosting a party for a loved one is rarely very enjoyable at the time. It takes vulnerability, planning, effort, commitment and hard work. It may have a negative effect on your financial state, or your ability to engage in other projects.
Caring for a dying relative is rarely enjoyable at the time. The work can be heavy, uncomfortable, demoralising. It takes sacrifice and may have an impact on every other relationship and possibility in your life.
Making the best man speech at a wedding when you're petrified of public speaking is mortifying on the day. The anxiety of being seen can be crippling and the consequences of getting it wrong feel significant. The commitment, investment and endurance of months of wedding planning - it's huge and consuming.
Yet millions of us take on these roles every day.
Because despite the inherent challenges, these tasks and roles contribute enormously to our identity, to our status, to our ability to live our lives in line with our values. In many ways, despite the apparent lack of enjoyment, they allow us to bank positive psychological capital that we can draw on for years to come.
While it may not feel great at the time, it feels right. And often, despite our more logical judgement, despite the impact that they have on other areas of our lives, we'd choose to do them again.
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