I've done a lot of soul-searching around why I so passionately want to launch my online presence - it's not something that comes naturally to me at all! I've been on quite a journey over the past five years or so and everything that has happened in that time has led me to this point. This point where I have this huge fire in my belly! Where suddenly I've got a real sparkle in my eye, energy in my step, I motivated, I'm learning and developing, I'm loving life! But I've been searching for the big why. Why this? Why now? Why do I value this so much? Why am I so motivated in this specific areas of my life?
And it hit me not so long ago!
I am passionate about people, myself included who have this perception that they have lost their power. Not their power over the world, not power over anyone else. Their. Own. Power.
My name is Louise Wildbore. I am an occupational therapist and director of my own health and fitness business and in my lifetime, I have allowed other people to take my power. Hell, I've even offered it up to them on a plate at times! However some people, even people who know me well are shocked to hear this, because I protect my power very fiercely in some areas of my life. And isn't this a familiar story?
Some of the strongest women I know, who I wouldn't dream of crossing, find themselves in abusive relationships. Someone they love, took their power.
I've seen some of the most confident, creative, brilliant, amazing people I know stay in jobs they are miserable in, because they have lost their power. I handed my power on a plate to the most miserable soul destroying boss I've ever encountered, she was power hungry and had a tribe of people around her giving up their power to her. But you know what? I only gave her mine for five minutes before I realised what I was doing and snatched it right back. Then I nurtured it and grew it bigger and stronger than EVER before - so I count that experience as a huge blessing.
I've recently lost a brother to suicide, and I can't even begin to tell you about that. But it was the source of me finding the quote you'll see on my Facebook banner page "You are unique. No one else is you and that is your power. "
In my role as an occupational therapist I work with people who have had a brain injury. Young men with major injuries mostly from car accidents and work accidents who must rebuild their lives from the ground up, and relearn all of their skills from scratch. I work with them to regain their power. It's where I learned all I know about our motivation, hope and values and how much they impact on our behaviour.
Now after five years in my own business in the health and fitness industry in a seaside city where a huge proportion of the population prides itself on having long, lean, bronzed beach bods, one of the most widespread places of all that I see people lose their power, have it taken from them or get cornered into giving it up, is with their weight and their body image. Our society has built such an expectation around what size people should be, how people should look, what is attractive, what is "normal" what is "healthy" that people who aren't "thin" people who aren't "fit" looking receive constant feedback from society and our community and our media that they are not a success. That they are in someway lesser or a failure. Even when people are hugely successful in other areas of their life, they're in amazing lawyer, a successful business person, and amazing carer or a kick-arse mother, they build or engineer things or they serve people in cafes or stores in the community. They may be kind of funny or compassionate or brilliant, or all of these things but if they feel they are even slightly "overweight" they tend to package up a portion of their power and hand it over to the universe. In someway they are a failure. They have failed themselves, or their family, or society in some way. I know because I feel it too.
Then one day I went...What. The. Fuck? This is insane!
We are all giving up huge valuable portions of our life in a quest to meet the standards portrayed by the media, by newspapers, by television, by magazines that isn't even a realistic image. And we turn a blind eye to the fact that what is portrayed healthy or attractive is biologically unachievable for a large proportion of us, we turn a blind eye to the fact that it may change from season to season in a way that it is biologically impossible to keep up with - a trend of waif thin pre-pubescent boy style lean angles gives way to voluptuous bosom, pert bottom, ffs. Short hair is all the rage one day and over night the season changes and long wavy tresses are in. It takes me a year to grow this shit out! And we turn a blind eye to the fact that all the dieting and fitness advice we've followed over the years hasn't worked, and in some cases has made us fatter, but we don't blame dieting, we blame ourselves for being weak willed, lazy and greedy. And so feeling ashamed of our bodies, however minor it may be in the scheme of things, paves the way to either feeling like we're a bit rubbish compared to everyone else, or to artificially enhancing ourselves for the sake of confidence, to seem like a successful attractive person who has it all together. Enter dieting, working out while in a calorie deficit, tanning, waxing, primping, makeup, hair extensions, eye lash extensions, injections, supplements, surgery and more while we ignore what we truly value in our lives, what makes us deeply happy. And because we are not comfortable with the idea that we have been so insidiously manipulated by the media to make us feel this all this is necessary and should be a priority, we tell ourselves that we do all this just for ourselves, just to feel better about ourselves, to feel more comfortable and more confident...we're turning ourselves inside out to meet two condradicting ends...to fit in, and to stand out.
And so I made it my mission to figure out a way to feel amazing and be amazing right now in the body I'm in. To not give over a huge amount of my lifestyle and thinking capacity to weight loss, muscle gain, food restriction, meal planning and clean eating when there is so much other cool shit going on around me. To participate more in life just for fun, and bend less to pressure. To have no guilt and deprive myself of nothing in the eating department, and still be healthy and feel great. I'm a bit of a contradiction, because I still love make-up, hair, fashion and fake-tan lol! I won't be everyone's cup of tea, but I'll be stoked if I can be just one persons shot of whiskey.
I've come online to share what I have learned with you, in the hope that some of the answers I have figured out will help you in your journey. I overcame my anxiety about being in the public eye because my desire to be a beacon of reality amongst all the broccoli and bullshit was stronger than my desire to shut up and conform to the unrealistic, sometimes soul destroying expectations placed upon us 24/7 online and in person.
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